But for the Grace of God

I have been a Catechist for a few years, and one concept that I always struggle with understanding is "Grace." If I don't understand it, then how do I teach it? 

But I try because it is such a beautiful concept. It is such a thing of beauty that is it hard to even put human words to it for description. 

The thing about God's Grace is that I don't think it can be taught. It can only truly be experienced. I guess it is that concept that, in the end, all things work together for His good. What an amazing gift that is. 

I am trying to be pretty honest about my recovery, so I will just own that I used to be a drinker. And I fell a lot. I was not very graceful. One of my best friends of thirty years introduces me as, "You know Molly, she falls a lot." So I use not only the city of Detroit as a metaphor for my recovery, but I also use Grace. I was very disgraceful there in my active alcoholism. But see life is a double-edged sword. I was also a ballerina at one time. So here in my sobriety, I am hoping to get my Grace back. One plie at a time.

Lately, I keep reflecting on lessons from my doctoral program. I guess I learned more in that then I give them credit for. One thing pressed upon us - the PhD Candidates in Leadership - was that all leaders fail. They do. I have failed. I have failed tests. I failed my comprehensive examination. They failed 8/9 of us or something. They gave us a trick question. I still don't know what I did wrong. I failed my quantitative test. So did seven of my classmates. I think they did this to these PhDs in Leadership on purpose. All leaders fail. The good ones learn from it and grow. 

So, I am trying to own my failures. Humility is also a sacred and important concept. I have had to eat Humble Pie as of late. I need to practice more humility. And Lord it is hard to be humble, but sometimes life humbles us - and man do we need it. I need this. I need to turn this around. 

That is the things about God's grace though. No matter how much we fail, He is there is catch us. And he turns it around, if we listen to Him and learn the lesson. 

But for the Grace of God, thank you for my failures. They have taught me that I cannot do this on my own.  I only can do this with the help of a Higher Power. 

Detach with Love

I had a great teacher in high school who taught a class on prayer. I loved that class. Thanks Sr. Corrine. She introduced me to Siddhartha.  Then, I had a serendipitous experience when I taught high school. See teachers really don't get to pick and choose what we teach. It is what the district already owns, and you use that. So I walked in the bookroom and saw this sweet little novella by Herman Hesse. It was meant to be. Thanks to whomever ordered that at MHS. Best people ever. 

 I taught this book to seniors, who are some of my favorite people in the world. They are becoming adults in real time. And this book is very transformative, every time I read it. 

Since this experience, I do call myself a Buddhist. I am a Christian Buddhist. That is a thing. People have so many misconceptions. Buddhism is a way of life, and one way I need to practice more is detachment. 

All of life is suffering is a major precept in Buddhism. We suffer through attachments. The only way to stop the suffering is detachment. And we do this by practicing the Four Noble Truths and Eight Fold Path. 

One frequent enough question that I get when people learn I have a PhD is what was the most important lesson you learned in the program. The most important is that humans are social beings and we exist for each other. Where ever two or more are gathered in his name. That is where we find God - in each other and nature. 

But another major lesson was the concept of Chaos Theory. We really are always in a state of Flux. My life for sure is in a major state of Flux. But sometimes we have to detach and ride the wave because all things in the end work together for His good. 

Amen. Detaching with love.