Time to put country over party

You know this past month has been kinda bizarre in my life. See I was born in 1973, and thank God my mom is a Catholic and is prolife because if not, I might not have been born. See that is about when abortion became legal in the United States. I was definitley an oops. I am 17 years younger than my eldest sibling and the sibling closest to may age is nine years my senior. Then I came. Ooops. And aboriton has also been legal my entire life. 

In June, when it was overturned, I went through a kind of disbelief. My friend Jamie also told me she was going through a similar depression. I think many people were. 

I was like holy crap, everything I just feared would happen to this country since 2015 has begun. See I saw this coming way back then, when Trump ran for president. I knew that the prolife voters would put him in office, as they did. I also knew he'd appoint conservative justices and that this could possibly happen, and it did. It really had happened. I was not some leftist lunatic all those years. I actually knew this was coming, and it came. I was just paying attention. People we all need to pay better attention.

See I think abortion is upsetting on many levels. Up until I was thirty, I identified as prolife. I almost protested a few times even. But then I had a student go through something before my eyes of which she had no control. Well this experienced changed me forever. I had a spiritual epiphany, and I learned I would never judge anyone on this issue ever again because sometimes I simply just had no clue and did not know what was really going on, and really, it was none of my business. 

I also teach college-aged women. One in three of them are raped. One in three: 33 percent. Mostly by people they know. This has changed me. Why in America and higher ed do we allow our women to be the most harmed by sexual violence in our country other than transgender people? (That stat is 1 in 2).  I am never going to be okay with this. Never. And I will work to change this for the rest of my life. College-aged women should not be the most harmed in our society. That is so beyond screwed up and totally shows how much work we have to do in the phallic ivory tower. 

I have been teaching for 27 years, both high school and college. Never once in my time as a teacher has any young person come to me for counsel for an unwanted pregnancy. See they know that I would say have the baby and put it up for adoption. So if they are even considering an abortion, they don't come to me. I am on facutly at a Catholic University, and even just with my Business Writing class I went off on a tangent about how abortion disproportionately  affects minorities and the racist history of Planned Parenthood and eugenics and Margaret Sanger. Sorry Feminist and liberal friends - see I told you I was a huge prolifer til 30. I know the prolife side too. And they aren't wrong on some of it. 

A sidenote Planned Parenthood should just start over with a new name like Women's Health. But I digress. 

With that said, I don't judge the women in my life who have shared their stories. Who am I to judge? I had an ectopic pregnancy at 26. We were married. I wanted this baby. It was also 9/11. There was no baby. Even the church understood this. America should then. 

Of course that changed me. I hated that that happened to me, but now I think it gives me a degree of empathy for women that I would not otherwise have. I wanted that baby. I even named him. I am not sure if it would have been a male or female, but to me I named him Michael, my favorite name.  And hopefully I have a baby in heaven. He would be 21 today. And I mourn this more than you would think, and it's been two decades. I think all women mourn a death of their child their entire life. All women. 

Anyway, I digress. So this month has been so bizarre because I've been kind of attacked. Two of my best friends literally kicked me out of a car for not supporting Trump. I was on one of my tirades about the future for women in America. And yes, I was saying that Trump put the current Supreme Court in. One said, "I will kick you the F$%* out of my car if you don't shut up." Nice friend huh? I have since found out she is very sick, so I forgive her and am praying for her. I am a real best friend.  In the days of Uber and cell phones, kicking one out of a car is not as big of a threat as it might have once been. I opened the door and just walked out onto Wilmington Pike. Why are people so angry? I'd never kick a friend out of my car for not agreeing with me politically. That is insane.  I walked to Elsa's on the Border for dinner and actually made a friend there. I got myself home safely. 

Then, the guy I was seeing heard this story, and we literally broke up over it. That's an entirely different blog post though about this heart of mine that keeps breaking. Damn you Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big. 

Then, a male I graduated from my doctoral program with whom I thought was my friend, went in total disrespect mode. I will leave it at that. In one of his tirades, he no lie screamed at me about my domestic duties. What? He said he was yelling at me about professional matters - that I should be publishing more, which I guess I am thankful for that he believes in me and is challenging and pushing me -- but then why is he bringing up my domestic duties? This is surreal stuff people. Surreal. 

And most recently I have been told that I am pro abortion and that someone else is praying that I make it to heaven. What? I am not pro abortion. I have never one time identifed myself that way or called myself that or posted about being pro abortion. Those are loaded words. In fact, true story - I couldn't vote for Obama the second time because at the DNC that year there were pro abortion signs from Planned Parenthood, and I just could never support those words. 

I do, however, believe women and children need proper healthcare. And for this I will fight. 

See this is not a black and white issue. It is not a blanket issue, where it all fits nightly under one cover. This is an extremely complicated issue, and I just do not think this one size fits all is the answer.  

This is an either or fallacy. Derrida says that language creates this. Although life is not binary, language uses the binary to explain things. But the thing is the binary is too limiting. If a person is 5 ft 6, are they tall or short? They are neither. See why the binary doesn't work. Derrida blames this on the limitations of human language. Perhaps he is right. But it's time to stop this either or binary thinking. I always tell my students, there is a lot of grey matter. Use it. It's called your brain. 

It is just too complicated. Only doctors and women and yes men together should make decisions. Yes men should have a say. Yes men should be both fathers and l dads!!!!!! The state should not be governing or limiting any health choices in a free America. Remember the rumors of death panels with Obamacare? Wasn't that the arugment from the right then? Or the vaccine mandate so many of my friends hated and protested against with their temporary Facebook statuses?  Wasn’t that about medical freedom? Isn't this overturning of Roe vs. Wade the state controlling access to healthcare in a way? Just making you think. I get the unborn need a voice. I do get that too. Of course I do. My life’s work is teaching children. That’s about another 290 blogposts though.

I also am an English professor, with a Master's in English literature. So I have read A Handmaid's Tale. And I have watched some, not all, of the Hulu series. It’s honestly too dark for me, but they just took women's rights away in 2022 America, so maybe I should rewatch it. And yes, many Americans are not okay with this. I believe this is the first time in American history that the Supreme Court actually took rights away from us. 

No lie. I was in Walmart by the Dayton Mall in probably April of 2020, that time you know when everyone including myself was hoarding toilet paper, meat, and canned goods. I had this huge cart full of groceries. So did everyone else. People were so kind that day though, I remember. Then, the credit card machine and entire money system stopped working. And I literally thought, “oh my gosh Margaret Atwood predicted this.” I was afraid they took our money away. That happens to women in A Handmaid's Tale. So, call us paranoid, but to the people who have watched this or read this novella, Atwood sadly seems propehetic and we are terrified of what they will take away from women or men or Americans in general next?  

I have to go into my classroom in a few weeks and face these young women, majority of whom are also Catholic,  and know that I had more rights than they do. And this to me is very, very sad. See Women's Rights are Human Rights. 

So, I am not pro abortion; however, I am pro freedom and women and children. And I also know that systemic oppression exists and there is a huge correlation between it and abortion. And I also know that when abortion is legal, women actually have LESS or is it FEWER - sorry other English profs —  that one always gets me. And I also know that abortion is still going to happen now, just not legally or safely in the states that ban it. 

So please don't call everyone who sees this is a completely complicated issue as pro abortion.  When it was said to me, I called the person out and said you know that is just cruel. But that is the state of America right now. Somehow the rhetoric has just become cruel. The cruelest I’ve ever seen I’m my 49 years. Gosh I wonder how that happened? Just kidding. With a PhD in leadership, I pray daily the right leader emerges very soon. These years of madness need to go. No offense, but okay boomers who are in their eighties running for political positions- please don’t. Time to retire. 

Some people may be pro abortion I guess. The current state of humanity never fails to surprise me. I’m not sure I know any who identify that way though. But the majority probably do not. We just want women and all people to have autonomy, as no one really knows what another life is going through, ever. And who are you or me to judge? That’s God’s job and he forgives us anyway. At least that’s what I have been taught and believe. 

But I am just over this red/blue divide. I am neither. I am not red. I am not blue. If anything, I'm purple. The church's teachings are both red and blue. Half of the Catholics are Republican and half of them are Democrat. President Biden is Catholic, although my Catholic circle refuses to accept that fact.  Let's start a Purple Party. The Purple Party for Freedom. Our flag is both red and blue.  Most Americans are purple. We cannot let these extremes divide us and take us down as a nation. It is time to put our country first again, above these extreme party lines. My conservative friends don't like that I'm so liberal. My liberal friends think I am too conservative and not liberal enough. It is so bizarre. I have never voted down party lines. Ever. I always vote on people and issues. But I am so over you party over country people. If we keep on this trajectory, we won't have a country to fight for anymore. 

I do, as an American, believe in freedom. And we need to fight for all of our freedoms. We cannot keep letting both sides take them away.  We need freedom of speech. We need religious freedom, and we need freedom in healthcare. And that my friends is putting country over party.  Keep our freedoms to remain free. Maybe that's really what people are fighting about. Maybe we are all actually more alike than different. 

I’m divorced and have a gay child and am Catholic?

So I teach at a Catholic university and was raised Catholic. When I teach my students from the Compendium for Catholic Social Doctrine, I tell them that I stay in the Church because I believe in their fundamental teachings, which I do for the most part. The family as the vital cell. Respect for all life. All life has dignity. Love Mother Earth. Distributive Justice. Help the poor. Be political.

But as people who know me know, I have never colored very well within the lines. See, I love that the word Catholic means universal, and for the most part I buy that the church tries to be this, except for the educated feminist in me who also sees it as a patriarchal government system - a construct created by man.

Do I love Jesus? Heck yes! I love Jesus. What is not to love about Jesus Christ? I tell my college students all of the time that of all the philosophers whom I have studied, Jesus makes the most sense. He does. I love the guy. My best friend has just now found Christ. My friend literally called me to discuss this yesterday. I was so honored that of all the Christians he knows, he called me about questions.  I told him Jesus was like the first hippie. Jesus may  actually be why I probably started following the Grateful Dead. Just a joke, kind of. No disrespect meant. Jerry and Jesus probably would hit it off up in heaven.But sometimes I think Jesus would not agree with the current state of affairs in American Christendom.

But what do you do with a church that really is not universal, when they say they are? I have read St. Thomas Aquinas’s “Natural Law, ” but Sorry Fathers, I have some critiques. Sorry mom. Sorry to my Jesuit-trained department chair. You wanted me to get my PhD. I did. This is what happens.

So natural law places men over women? And places heterosexuality over homosexuality? Well if God created us in his own image, what about my gay child? Jesus never one time talked about homosexuality as a sin. The Old Testament did in Leviticus, and also said don’t wear a garment made out of two different fabrics.  I also teach and believe that God made us in their own image, and God doesn’t make mistakes.

I guess I’ll still be Catholic and divorced with a gay child, but honestly some of you Catholics make me wonder. If you are gonna be the universal church then do it. Don’t exclude, which currently the church still does. At least I teach at a Marianist Catholic university with like minded Catholics. But I constantly have to remind people in my life that Fox News is not the Church nor is the Republican Party. And Oh yeah, in America we are supposed to have religious freedom. People have literally told me that the appreciate Catholics for not enforcing our views or religion on them. I apologize that the Supreme Court and nation have now. I am honestly kind of embarrassed by this fact. And we need to take a step back as Catholics and really think about how far we are gonna let this go. I still believe in a Universal Church, but I also believe in a free democracy. I believe my gay child should be accepted fully for who they are. And although the majority of my church was beyond supportive during my very difficult divorce, I can assure that mom who starts rumors that I am trying to steal your husbands at the bowling alley is a lunatic. Ladies, I guarantee that is NOT happening. I do believe in Christ and try to truly follow him. I just ask that more Catholics do also. Peace.

Detroit - One of the World and America's Most Liveable Cities

So, I haven't posted in a close to a month, in part because I have not been home since January. This has been an unusually tough winter, both in terms of weather and life in general. I will be heading home this spring for sure, so hopefully I will post more often.

Amidst the negative news of the day the music died when the DSO announced not playing due to negotiation issues, the closing of half of Detroit's public schools, and the possibility of Detroit classrooms having more than 60 students per teacher, there was a glimmer of hope (besides the Robocop statue of course) in the news during the past month: The Economist's Intelligence Unit ranked Detroit the 32nd best city to live in in the world and the fourth best to live in in the US. Way to go Detroit. I learned of this when a college chum posted it to his Facebook page - thanks AS. "NPR mentioned this study briefly this morning. The Economist's Intelligence Unit ranked 140 global cities for liveability (largely based on if you had to be transferred what would the quality of your life be). Detroit ranked 32 globally and fourth in the U.S. (behind Pittsburgh, Honolulu and Chicago)" (College Chum's Facebook Page).
Here is a link to the Economist's Intelligence Unit: http://store.eiu.com/product/475217632-sample.html.

"The Economist Intelligence Unit’s liveability rating quantifies the challenges that might be presented to an individual's lifestyle in 140 cities worldwide. Each city is assigned a score for over 30 qualitative and quantitative factors across five broad categories: stability, health care, culture and environment, education, and infrastructure. The categories are compiled and weighted to provide an overall rating of 1–100, where 1 is considered intolerable and 100 is considered ideal"(The Economist, para. 2).

So, the winds of change are a coming. Unemployment dipped below 9 percent for the first time this month - lowest number in three years. Life is turning around, and Detroit IS COMING BACK!

"Liveability Ranking: Go North or Go South." The Economist. 8 June 2009. 3 March 2011. Web.

No to RoboCop, Yes to $1000 Houses for Cops

So Detroit is in the news today for two reasons. First, the Mayor said no to a Robocop statue. I would have to agree with this decision. And second, he is saying yes to a houses for cops statute.

The mayor of Detroit is offering public safety officials tax-foreclosed homes in the city for only $1000; they also can get up to $150,000 in grants to restore the homes. I think this is a good idea. I wish it were open to more than just police and firemen/women though. I would buy a house or two in Detroit if I could get them for a mere thousand dollars, with $150,000 to rehab each. No house payment is a dream.

This kind of program is a great idea. They need to expand it to other citizens though, not just police.

I used to live in a great part of Dayton called the Oregon District. It is the nicest part of the city of Dayton - the heart. It was rehabbed in a program like the above-mentioned one thirty years ago or so, except houses went for $1. You read that correctly - a mere dollar. The home owners had to promise to live in the house as their primary residence for seven years or something. And, I think they also received grants to rehab the neighborhood. Guess what, it worked! It is beautiful there now.

The Oregon District is one of the most expensive places to live in the Miami Valley now and has held its value over the years. It is BEAUTIFUL! Its prices are comparable to Oakwood's, Dayton's version of Grosse Pointe.

So, I hope this plan works. And I hope more plans like this follow. Home ownership is the American dream. It is a dream that has been taken away from too many in recent years. Once people own homes, they have pride. There is no place like home, even if it only costs a grand. I would love no house payment! This is a step in the right direction. My mom and dad grew up in beautiful neighborhoods in Detroit proper. Oh to see that again would be wonderful.

This is Detroit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUvPUANJZrQ&feature=email

A few weeks ago, a friend emailed this to me. Then, last week my sister did the same. It is a great video about Detroit - its history, its goods, its people. In honor of this video, here is a list of my favorite things about Detroit & Michigan in General:

Wing Lake, Franklin Cider Mill, Somerset Mall, The Tigers, Ford , The Gallery,The Lions, Chrysler, Beau Jack's, The Red Wings , General Motors, The Lakes,The Pistons, Walloon Lake, Echo Park Road, Faygo , Ernest Hemingway, The Palace, Stroh's Beer, Cranbrook, Comerica Park, Stroh's Ice Cream, Grosse Pointe, Cobo Hall, Sander's Hot Fudge Royal Oak Boblo Island (RIP), Vernor's Ginger Ale, Ann Arbor, The Wolverines, MSU, U of M, The Spartans, Western, Central, Oakland, Boats, Mackinac , Buddy's Pizza, Boyne, Mackinac Hot Fudge, Sila's Pizza, DSO,
Mackinac Salt Water Taffy, Pine Knob, Farmington, The Grand Hotel , The Detroit Zoo, The Village Club, Traverse City, Detroit Institute of Art, Madonna,Charlevoix, Kid Rock, Joe Lewis,
Lake Charlevoix, Eminem, The Fist, Petosky, The Petosky Stone, Aertha, Diego Rivera's Murals,
Downtown Birmingham, Greenfield Village, Apples, Dick O'Douds, Cottage Inn Pizza, Cherries,
The Village Restaurant, Little Caesar's, The Auto Show, Barton Hills Country Club, Olga's, Dominoes , The Irish Festival, Greektown, The Thanksgiving Day Parade, Belle Isle Zoo (RIP),
The Ole Sheleigh, Meadowbrook , St. Patrick's Day Parade, Mexican Village , St. Mary's Fair, Peabody's, Four Green Fields, Birmigham Fair, Fourth of July Fireworks, Leo's Coney Island, Ford Field , Hudsons (RIP), U of D Basketball, St. Owen's, Marian, Brother Rice, BHMS, Tanglewood.

Imported from Detroit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKL254Y_jtc

I have to admit that even though I went to a Superbowl Party, I did not watch much of the game. The men monopolized the TV room, so I was with the women and children in the kitchen. So, sadly, I did not see this commercial live. And, none of my in-laws told me about it, which I was surprised about really. They all know how much I love Detroit. Maybe they missed it due to conversation or something. But luckily today, my Facebook page was full of people talking about it, so I checked it out on YouTube.

People are rating this the best commercial of the bunch, with which I would have to agree (although the VW Darth Vader Jedi Mind Trick ad is in a close second). My favorite line from the ad is "from people who have never been there." Isn't that the truth? People love to rail on Detroit, even if they have not one time actually stepped foot in the state of Michigan; however, this ad again is supporting my theory that it is totally hip to be from Detroit right now.

Detroit is full of luxury. I loved that they featured the Fox Theater. But luxury in Detroit does not begin and end there. We have the Whitney, The Detroit Institute of Art, and the Renaissance Center. Metropolitan Detroit is full of luxury. Growing up I was surrounded by luxury. For example, people I know from all over the Midwest drive to Troy, Michigan to shop at Somerset Mall. The Townsend in downtown Birmingham is a world-class hotel, and professional golfers oft swing their clubs at Oakland Hills Country Club. We have the Detroit Symphony Orchestra, the Ford Mustang, and Sanders Hot Fudge.

The funniest post I saw about the ad this morning was actually in a thread from a fellow blogger's post about it. Some woman wrote "Eminem is so hot." Mind you, this post was probably from a 30 something mom. On YouTube, I saw another post that said something like, "I have never been there, but I wish I was from there." See, Detroit is the hippest town in America. And, a lot of hotties are from MoTown :).

So, I am proud to be imported from the Motor City! What does not kill you makes you stronger. Just wait and see America all that Detroit has to offer you in the future. The comeback is just starting.

Snowmygod!

Well, like the rest of the Midwest and Northeast, Dayton, Ohio has had a heck of a week after a hell of a winter. After a massive ice storm, my house lost power for about ten hours. The night of snowegeddon, an apartment building in the neighborhood had some type of fire danger. Four fire trucks and an ambulance lit up my house like the Fourth of July, while we sat up in the dark listening to trees collapsing outside our window. Luckily, no trees fell on my house or my car. Although it is reminiscent of Hurricane Ike around my neighborhood right now (yes, we had hurricane strength winds in Ohio two years ago!) luckily, I have power now. Did not know what I would do with these two kids with no power in the middle of winter.

I do miss Detroit winters though. I know that sounds stupid. But, in Detroit, when we get a winter storm, it is snow, not ICE! And not rain. It is usually bright, white snow! Also, in Detroit, they know how to clean this stuff up pretty darn quickly. There is a whole industry devoted to it really. Down here in Southern Ohio, they act like a winter storm is the White Death. I have never really seen anything like it before. The grocery store is cleaned out. The news is acting like it is the end of the world. Schools, churches, businesses close. I always think, "Boy, this is not Michigan."

I hear that Detroit only got six or seven inches - not the twenty something that hit Chicago. That is a good thing. Although, Detroit could handle it. It can handle a lot. :)